“Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.” – Gladiator

For over three weeks I have stalked, hunted, and attempted to set up my target for disappearence. But the power of Dustin’s complete lack of any life outside Swanson Hall proved too much for even Death to defeat easily. Things were not made easier when he discovered that I had him as a target two weeks ago, either. I had nearly begun to despair, when today a friend called and informed me that Dustin was standing outside for the hot dog eating contest. I hurried down and easily stickered him, to the delight of the assembled crowd. Of course, Dustin tried to convince me that this was the easiest way to kill him, that I could wait for a more challenging opportunity. He had a point… but after this long, I pretty much don’t care. We students have to go outside every day for class; it is only right that he should be fair game during the (very) few times he is required to set foot outdoors.

It was not a complex, impressive, or even truly honorable stickering, but I’ll take it. Death comes for everyone in the end, RDs included.

So smile, Dustin. Smile.

“Because I could not stop for Death, he kindly stopped for me…” – Emily Dickinson

I was fortunate enough to have my lab TA as my first target, making the kill an easy one. I waited outside Swanson under the pretense of having a cigarette (only fitting that Death should be a smoker) and tagged him as he walked out to go to class.