This has got to be the sloppiest kill ever.

I had killed my target, Kerry, last night. I got this guy’s name from her, and I went home and researched him. I found out he lives on stratford ct. For those of you who don’t knwo where that is, which I’m assuming is everybody, its like 2 and a half miles west of memorial stadium. That was definately out of the question. I found out he had an architecture lab at 8:00am on Tu- Thrs that only had one meeting time, and a lecture at 11:00am Tu- Thr that also only met once. How convenient. In case anybody doubts my commitment to this game, let me assure you that I make no class before 8:10, but I was at his class waiting at 7:45am. Sharp. I waited till 8:15, and he hadn’t come, or at least not that I had seen. I came back at 10:50, waiting again. 11:00- 11:01 i see him. My heart skips a beat. Adrenaline is pumping, mind is racing. He walks into the bathroom. I was not thinking clearly, so I decide “i’ll get him while he’s pissing!” I walk in, and park next to him. I’m just posing, so when he finishes, I finish, and start to go in for the kill. (It seemed too dishonorable to kill somebody while their holding their manhood in their hands). He’s washing his hands, and I ask him “is your name Matt?” I wasn’t positive it was my target, so I decided to ask. Unfortunately, it was definately the wrong name. He said “no.” I asked again, with the same response. He dried his hands, and then i stabbed him, and said “are you SURE you’re not matt?” and he was like “no, my name is victor Miely.” Realization immediately hit me, and I explained to him that Matt was 2 targets ago, that i had misplaced them, and that he was dead.

Or so I thought. I failed to remember that you can’t kill while you’re both in a bathroom. He informed me of this, and again, I wanted to slap myself in the face. We both stood there, not sure of what to do, and suddenly, a plan hit me.

“I can wait as long as you can.” I say.

He sighs, looks at me incredulously, and then says “you want to race for it then?” I agree, and we both ready. He bolts, but not before I ditch my backpack. He was encumbered by a rather large looking bag, while I was quick and nimble. I catch up to him no problem, and he turns around wielding his spoon. I look at it, and its a wimpy little girly spoon! It looks like an ice cream sampling spoon. I am holding my giant monster manly spoon, and I know its already over. We circle each other, old school knife fight style, and suddenly, I move in for the kill. He attempts a stab at the same time, I deflect with my left arm, and thrust into his gut with the right. He slumps to the floor, not believing what just happend, and utters two words before passing away. He told me my new target. At least he had dedication.

Like I said, its not pretty, but it got the job done.