| Player Info | |
|---|---|
| Alias: | 'William Thomson' |
| Status: | Dead |
| Points: | 2 |
| Last point on: | 2005 October 17—10:52 AM |
'3.14159265358979323, or thereabouts' tried to kill 'William Thomson', but failed!
My assassin attempted to kill me and claimed he did but he hit me in the upper arm. I walked away and he didn\’t strike again.
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'3.14159265358979323, or thereabouts' killed 'William Thomson'
Death cannot be escaped, merely evaded. To think that one can escape is purely irrational. My target had evaded me many a time. This was not, however, one of those times.
So this time he got it right. A quick jab in the right lumbar; a smirk on his face. His spoon quickly brought me to −459.67°F, never to have enthalpy again.
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'William Thomson' killed 'Ogeltine'
This target was all too easy. I IMd her to ask her about her Facebook picture album, and then at around 10:45 she told me she had to goto class. This was my signal to run from my office at Glasgow University and ambush her outside her dorm building. A spoon in the side leads to the absolute coldness of death.
That brings my kills to a total of 273.15.
Preoccupied with academics I knew I had but a short time to live; however, I never truly reliazed that even my own friends could be back- stabbing murderers. Not suspecting the real reason behind the IM conversation, I left my dorm with my iPod blaring music in my ears. Then I heard the sound of running feet (which I knew could not be a good sign), yet I had no fear. The kill was quick and efficient and now allows me to return to the lonely existence of an academic.
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'William Thomson' killed 'Lord Voldemort'
After determining my target’s courses off of Facebook. I reverse engineered his schedule. I then camped outside his class this morning. I knew which path he would take to enter the building, so I sat outside feigning to work on a homework problem. When I saw him walk by I came up behind him and stabbed him with the spoon in the side. Then as he turned around I stabbed him again in the chest just to make sure he knew he was dead. He was very polite about dying and wished me well.
So there I was off to observe yet another Electromagnetism lecture (it’s really quite amazing the ridiculous things Muggles use to get by without using magic) entering Loomis Laboratory of Physics with a concealed spoon on me, prepared for the strike of my assassin. As I opened the door to the building, I figured it would only be a few more seconds before I was inside the protective sanctuary of a Professor’s classroom, but my assassin took advantage of my momentary lack of attention to my unprotected rear as I passed through the door, only meters from true security to stab me right in the back with a spoon! Of course, not even I, the Dark Lord, can repair damage dealt by spoons. They’re far too magical, so, with a great deal of shock, I collapsed, dead, and was forced to observe the lecture from the spiritual beyond.
Beware, fellow assassins, today was my day to die, but you could be tomorrow. Those who live by the spoon, shall die by the spoon. My assassin is a ruthless killer… and is now targeting one of you…
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Finally, irrationality has proven a valid course. Running into my target while eating dinner was the work of fate itself. Actually, fate had worked this way three times before, but my target was elusive (and I was busy). As he left dinner this time I was prepared and he felt the icy hand of death (with it\’s accompanying plastic spoon, of course) grip his shoulder. Fear ye mortals and despair, for irrational numbers feel no remorse.