After being thwarted in my attempts to kill Mr.e on Friday, I was determined to hunt him down. I discovered the time and location of three of his classes, but he did not show up to the first two, at least while I was waiting there. Apparently, he was late, and I had my own classes to go to. However, he did show up to his book arts class, and I waited, patiently by the coat rack, for over an hour, for the class to be over. Luckily I had brought a book to read. Finally, the class was over, and Mr. e came to get his coat. But then he saw me, and ran out the other door! I waited, knowing he would come to get his coat. Then I saw him coming down the stairs from the back entrance, and I shot him.

Mr e was a most worthy opponent, and my most challenging victim yet. But even he has been terminated.

Our paths met at the crossroads of fate; our eyes locked under the tumultuous sky. Above the howling winds I heard my name uttered in icy greeting. Then, in a blur of movement, her weapon was drawn and she was advancing towards me: a ruthless machine of destruction, death incarnate, fueled solely by the drive to kill.

However, Athena had forgotten to account for one thing: my umbrella, which I had equipped to protect myself from the rain and now saw a better use for. She leveled the gun at my chest, and the brief glimpse I caught of my own doom catalyzed a reaction within me. Swiftly, deftly, I positioned my aegis between myself and my assailant. She fired; the shot ricocheted harmlessly off the waterproof surface. She fired another shot, which I also managed to deflect. Again and again she pulled the trigger; again and again, I frantically blocked. We circled each other, mongoose and cobra in a deadly waltz. Abruptly, I came to the realization that I possessed a concealed melee weapon. The fever of battle had pushed this most useful of thoughts completely out of my mind, but now it returned to drive my hand deep into my pocket. My searching fingers touched metal and closed with firm grasp around the handle. I drew my blade and pulled my arm back for the strike. But in that moment a terrible rage suffused Athena, and in one mighty sweep of her arm she tore my shield asunder. It was too late to do anything. I had begun the thrust of my arm, and momentum carried my spoon forward inevitably towards her even as she swung the muzzle of the gun at me and fired. Even as I felt the spoon sink into her shoulder, I felt the agonizing pain of her liquescent bullet biting into my own. The impact knocked me backwards onto the ground where I sat, dazed, clutching my broken umbrella and awaiting the end. But to my astonishment, Athena did nothing. She gazed at me for a moment that seemed like an eternity, then staggered backwards and retreated into the darkness of night. I watched her shadow disappear into the gloom and reflected on our fateful encounter, knowing that some day we would meet again…and not knowing who the victor would be when we did. After a while I pulled myself to my feet and began the long walk home.

This one wasn’t too bad; he had both his schedule and a picture of himself online. From this I gathered a few useful pieces of information, including the fact that we’re both in the same lecture.

Veni, vidi, stabbi.

After two weeks of sitting around on my butt unkilling and unkilled, I decided to take matters into my own hands. And by “matters” I mean “a spoon”.

Then, I killed him.